To My Valentine, Myself

By Kaitlin McDowell

Edited by Taylor Morgan

January is bleak. After everyone has recovered from their New Year's Eve plans, days or weeks later, there is an abundance of societal pressure to change everything about oneself.

“What are your goals for the year?” friends ask over brunch. “20 ways to be unrecognizable this 2026,” the headlines read. 

On top of this month’s suffocating self-improvement discourse, the temperatures drop and the end of winter feels out of sight. Personally, I love holidays and having something to look forward to, which makes January feel especially empty without that sense of anticipation.

Then February arrives. The light at the end of the dark, cold and frosty tunnel that is January. With February comes Valentine's Day. The month of pink and red, chocolate hearts and love. 

Typically, there are two sides to this holiday: the lovers, those who are literally in love, and the haters, who complain of being suffocated by reminders they are “alone” this season through ads, storefronts and aisles of drugstore candy.

Last year, I wrote about why this holiday should be for friends, specifically female friends. While I still hold this belief and plan to spend the holiday with my best friends, I have a new Valentine. 

Myself. 

As January focuses on self-improvement and resolutions, February is the perfect time to look at everything you don’t need to change about yourself. All of the ways you have grown or the things you are proud of. 

Photography by Gregory Engler, Styled by Abby Thompson

Sure, there is always room to grow and better oneself, but it is also important to stop and look at how far you have already come. As “new year, new me” makes its annual comeback across social media and daily conversations, it’s easy to lose the plot, hyper-focusing on self-improvement and forgetting the best parts of ourselves along the way. Spoiler alert, there's a lot!

Self-love is also good for mental and physical health. Practicing self-love has proven to boost self-esteem, motivation, lessen anxiety and even improve sleep. So while I think February should be the antithesis of self-improvement January, the practice of self-love may actually help one reach their new year’s goals as well.

How does being your own valentine work exactly? Here are a few ideas. 

Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself how awesome you already are. Compliment yourself and wear clothes that make you feel like your best self. 

Treat yourself all month! Buy yourself a coffee (strawberry, maybe?) or a specialty pastry. 

Dine out at your favorite restaurant! Based on an OpenTable trends report, solo dining has increased by 35%, eliminating the negative stigma associated with dining out alone. Not only is dining out more common, but it can also be more fun. Bring a book or simply sit at a countertop and people-watch those around you. You might be pleasantly surprised. 

Attend a workout class and once again buy a coffee afterwards! Show up for yourself, you will feel great afterwards. 

Buy roses, or your flower of choice! Every time you see them displayed beautifully in the vase, remind yourself who bought them. You, your valentine. 

Buy yourself a gift. Maybe a new top. Indulge in a Valentine's Day exclusive item from your favorite brand. When the package arrives, it's like receiving a gift, but from yourself. 

Being your own valentine doesn’t have to involve spending money. If you enjoy journaling, write a Valentine to yourself. Set the mood. Put on PJs, light a candle and pull out your glitter gel pens and romanticize everything you already love about yourself. Channel your inner Taylor Swift. Circa “You Belong with Me” music video. 

Bake something or make chocolate-covered strawberries. The therapy and peace that comes along with mixing and baking a sweet treat is seriously underrated.

A synonym for self-love is self-care, so invest time in pampering your skin, hair or health this month. Paint your nails more often. Do that hair mask that's been sitting in the drawer since the holidays. Make a home-cooked meal you saved on Instagram. 

No matter how you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, I implore you to do something for yourself. By the end of this self-love month, I hope you have reflected on and even discovered new things you love about yourself.