Why Confidence Is Not About Being Perfect

By Leah Hoffman

Edited by Taylor Morgan

You know those days, or worse, those stretches of time, when nothing about yourself feels quite right? Sometimes a single thing throws you off, and other times everything seems to collide at once, leaving your confidence in pieces. I know for me, having clear skin is a huge trigger. I have always struggled with acne, and the moment I feel my skin starting to get worse, my self-esteem crumbles. It’s not just my skin, either; once I start fixating on that, my attention shifts to everything else that feels “off.” Suddenly, I’m noticing if my stomach looks bloated or if my nose seems too big. All these little things are natural and completely out of my control, yet I still punish myself for them. And I know I’m not alone in that. What I mean is, I promise you, you are not alone in those thoughts. 

Photography by Delaney Juenger, Styled by Paulina Adams, Ruby Darmanin and Kennedy Stackowicz

I texted my girlfriends asking what some of their triggers were, and my group chat instantly exploded with tapbacks emphasizing messages and girls saying “ditto” or “same here.” Some said they struggle when they wear their natural curly hair, and it gets too frizzy. Others mentioned that it’s not just physical things, it’s also not doing well in school or when their routines fall out of place. And there we were, relating to each other not just over the pretty funny parts of life, but also the harder, uglier ones. What shocked me the most was when my friends said, “Leah, we have never noticed your skin.” And the truth is, I have never noticed whether my friend’s curly hair was frizzy or not. I’ve never thought any less of her because she failed an exam. Most of the things you stress about, no one else even sees.  

If someone notices those little things, it says more about them than it does about you. And if you catch yourself judging small details like that, it might reveal more about where you are emotionally. When you are happy, grounded and confident, not perfect, just secure, you don’t waste energy picking apart other people’s appearances, not even your own. 

Confidence isn’t waking up and loving everything about yourself. It’s waking up, not loving everything, and still showing up anyway. It’s knowing that your worth doesn’t disappear just because you’re having an “off” day. 

Find the beauty in letting yourself be real, imperfect and still deserving of love and confidence.