Inspired or Influenced?
By Nieve Cavanagh
Edited by Anna Kate Mereness
We find ourselves in many parasocial relationships: following people on Instagram, idolizing celebrity podcasts and mimicking our favorite influencers’ wardrobes. And although it is good to have role models, when have we taken these interests too far? Where is the line between being influenced and being controlled?
My earliest memories from childhood are sitting on the couch with my mom watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” This catapulted my love of celebrity moguls and has had a huge impact on how I live my life. Need to buy a new toner? What is Gwyneth Paltrow using? Getting my nails done this week? What does Hailey Bieber have on her nails? I’m constantly scrolling through my Instagram feed to find the latest and greatest. And although this may not be the best use of my time, I truly find joy and inspiration in the daily lives of the women I admire. But late at night, when I’m scrolling, I ask myself: “Are all of these people positive influences? Do I truly want to emulate their lives?”
Let’s define influential. Influential means having the ability to guide, change or affect people. Giving someone you do not know the power to direct your life is a scary thought. And if we are all following the same influencer, where does creativity lie in our personal lives?
We must be picky about who we idolize because, in the big picture, their lifestyles may not align with ours. Yes, I love the way Danielle Pheloung looks when she struts down Fifth Avenue, but I do not have the finances to rent vintage designer pieces from Isle of Monday. Constantly comparing myself to multimillionaires can have a negative effect on my mental health. I look at women like Jessica Alba and yearn for their workout routines. But unlike them, I am a full-time college student going through life changes, such as living alone and looking for job opportunities after graduation.
Social media only gives you a glimpse into the lives of others. You probably don’t post pictures of yourself lying in bed with unbrushed hair and a bowl of ice cream, and neither would they. These women post at luxurious galas and fancy dinners, but they have their moments, too. Instagram is a highlight reel of the finest moments in a person’s life. So, there’s no need to evaluate your bad day against their best.
This is why it is so crucial not to compare yourself to others. We are told this from a young age, and over time, it becomes a cliché. But we must remember the importance behind this simple saying.
Now, I do not mean we should cancel all influencers or stop looking to them for inspiration. But you should not compare your own life to the lives of others. And this goes for anyone—the Kardashian family or your roommates. Only you know what is best for your well-being.
So, do not give control to people who do not even know you. As long as you are being inspired, remember that you can also inspire yourself.
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