The Pressure to Perform in the Age of Social Media

By Paige Auxier

Edited by Taylor Morgan

becauseofnyc / @becauseofnyc on Pinterest

I find myself wasting a considerable amount of time considering how I’m perceived by others. I often feel as though I’m walking on eggshells as I go about the mere act of existing. It’s as if, at the turn of every corner, a new situation emerges, with a million-and-one opportunities for me to suffer personal failure in the form of saying too much, or too little, liking the wrong movies and books, enjoying music that’s too mainstream or failing to produce unique opinions on significant subject matters.

I feel like I’m in constant pursuit of an unachievable ideal—a perfect blend of normalcy and tasteful quirkiness—which has proven to be a nearly impossible feat, considering that this exemplary middle ground is perpetually shifting. What’s regarded as unpalatably eccentric one day may be insufferably basic the next, and the act of keeping up with these shifts is both unmanageable and exhausting. I fear, too, that in my pursuit of meeting this moving target, I have begun to lose my sense of individuality. I would be lying if I said I evaluated my interests solely based on the level of personal enjoyment I derive from them. It feels as though, in today’s society, a person's taste in media and hobbies is viewed as a manifestation of who they are. And as a result of this, I have noticed myself shamefully taking into consideration how liking certain things will influence how I am perceived, and have even gone as far as to shift or hide certain interests of mine based on these considerations. I would argue, too, that I am not alone in this behavior and mindset.

I, like most, have found pleasure in poking fun at the performative male and female archetypes, but meaningful cultural insight lies beneath their humor. People now, in desperate attempts to prove their uniqueness to others, select and attach themselves to certain interests, aesthetics and opinions for the performative purpose of developing a certain sort of superficial appearance, and social media is used as a tool to make a public display of this meticulously curated image.

While the values of social media, regarding their ability to promote self-expression, are not to be dismissed, I would argue too that these affordances, coupled with the medium’s inherent superficiality, pose immense threats of detriment to the individual psyche. Social media use places one at risk of subjecting themself to harmful comparisons, transitioning into something they are not for the sake of approval, doing and enjoying things for show rather than for genuine purpose or pleasure, and becoming so focused on themself that they lose sight of others.

This last fact leads me to question whether we now lead more superficial existences. Has this ever-increasing preoccupation with ourselves and our appearances rendered our relationships more surface-level by limiting our capacity and desire to acquaint ourselves with what lies beneath the exterior of others, and if so, how do we mediate this? How do we look past ourselves and reject that inherent part of our nature as humans that forges a desire in us to fit in and be praised by our peers, which social media platforms so easily and instantaneously reward with likes and comments?

I do not pretend to know the answers. Like everyone else, I, too, am navigating our ever-changing cultural landscape. I would argue, though, that the solution is unfortunately not as simple as unplugging. Social media has heavily saturated our environment to such an extent that it’s begun to influence our culture, and in turn, shift what we value and how we view ourselves and others, regardless of whether or not we engage with it. So, to avoid the threat of losing sight of the real world and crumbling under the pressure we face to perform, I suggest we start by working on ourselves from within, by building self-esteem. The appeal of outside validation and the desire to reinvent yourself for the sake of approval from your peers will grow less enticing if you view your self-worth as inherent. I also think that making a point of observing and meaningfully interacting with others could be of benefit to this purpose by forcing one to focus their attention on something outside of themself. Relevance on social media is gained only at the expense of others' irrelevance, so engaging with said platforms persuades us to view our peers as competitors. And through the forging of meaningful connections with others, we effectively combat this view by developing a greater sense of admiration towards them as well as a greater sense of security in our own identities. We must also replace the superficial means of fulfillment afforded by social media, such as praise in the form of likes and comments, with more meaningful alternatives, such as engaging in and exploring things we have a sincere interest in. And rather than valuing ourselves based on how we’re perceived, we ought to instead place greater importance on our level of authenticity and the quality of our relationships with others, both in terms of the nature of our conduct towards them and the extent of their depth.