UPinion: Hating the Female Lead Might Just Be Internalized Misogyny…

By Sophie Masi

💋/ @channelyves via Pinterest 

Over the past few years, there has been a rising trend on the internet — and social media specifically — that focuses on hating and tearing down the female leads of many popular television shows. If you are chronically online, like me, and like to keep up with your favorite shows or just consume content based on shows you’ve watched in the past, you may have noticed this as well.

At first, you might agree — yeah, that character is annoying, blah, blah, blah. But if you think about it for more than 30 seconds, these characters are usually complex, and their backgrounds and traumas are often overlooked and completely simplified into being a “hateable character.” I think, in most cases, when you hate the main character, it may come from seeing yourself too much in them and/or not really trying to understand them.

For example, the most hated character I’ve seen on social media recently is Carrie Bradshaw. Now, I’m not saying she is perfect — or even an amazing friend — because, as we’ve seen on Sex and the City, sometimes she falls short, can be selfish and has repeatedly put men before her friends. But Carrie gets a lot of hate for doing what the other three girls on the show do as well. All of the girls in the show have fallen short in their friendships at one time or another.

And as I am an advocate for de-centering men in your life, the only one who has truly done that in the show is Miranda. So why do Charlotte and Samantha escape the criticisms that Carrie is so often subject to? We all watch as Carrie has an admittedly embarrassing six-year relationship with a guy who undoubtedly does not respect her — but a lot of the girls who hate on Carrie have been through that exact thing. Girls I’ve talked to who don’t like Carrie honestly remind me of her, and not in a bad way.

I’m a Carrie apologist (most of the time), and she does have amazing qualities: she’s a fashionable, successful writer who excels in her career and can be a good friend at times. Although she has many flaws, I think the hate she receives is oversaturated and unnecessary — and maybe comes with no consideration of her complexity.

Another character who gets a massive amount of hate online is Elena Gilbert from The Vampire Diaries. People deem her annoying and claim she always wants to act like the victim. But most of the time, she is the victim. Watching a show involving the supernatural can really desensitize viewers to the feelings and intensity of the situations the characters go through — and can make you lose perspective.

The amount of trauma Elena has endured before the show even starts is enough to make her behavior excusable and understandable — let alone everything she goes through during the show’s timeline. I also find it interesting that a character like Damon is rarely hated on, just because he’s attractive and charming, while arguably being a much worse person than Elena.

Another way to put it in perspective: how would you be acting if everyone close to you died at some point, an entire world of supernatural beings revealed itself to you and two vampire brothers were constantly fighting over you — all at 17?

My last example might be a bit of a hot take, but putting yourself in Jenny Humphrey’s place in Gossip Girl might make you understand her a bit more. There are many things Jenny does on the show that are annoying — and some inexcusable — but think about how you acted when you were 14 or 15 and all throughout high school. Also, take into consideration that it was the late 2000s, and all she really wanted was to fit in.

Having a confusing home life and a nonexistent social life (due to socioeconomic status and mean girls) might drive any sane person to where Jenny ended up in the show. Another valid point: how beloved Chuck Bass is on the show, when he might be one of the worst, most morally corrupt characters written in a 2000s drama.

People don’t want to blame the billionaire who is a terrible person and treats people like trash — but they live to hate on the young girl trying to find her place in the world. Jenny’s character brought depth and entertainment to the show and represented the girls who didn’t know who they were or how to navigate their teenage years.

People always say they want complex characters — until it’s a girl who makes a couple of mistakes. I love stepping back from the show and taking a look at the individual: who they truly are and why they’re like that.

It’s all just fiction, but finding new perspectives that translate into real life can help you empathize with those around you — ultimately building stronger relationships in your real life.